Proudly a Mom’s Girl

Bilquis Mir

‘We The Women’ is thrilled to bring to you about the journey of another gem of the State. In her own words, “I have never opened up about my struggles publically, but I am making an exception because if my story could motivate even a single girl out there, it would add meaning to my life.” So without further delay, let’s just dive into it.
Biliquis Mir is popularly known for being the first women from Jammu & Kashmir to coach a National Team in this particular sport, but formerly and more importantly she is first women participant from India who participated in MOL ICF Sprint Racing World Cup in Kayaking and Canoeing in Szeged, Hungary, 2009. In her list of firsts, she has also inscribed being the first Indian Women who has done International Coaching Diploma from prestigious Semmelweis University Institute of Coaching and Sport Education, Hungray with dazzling grade A. To add on to her honor badges, Biliquis is also qualified as an International Referee/Official making her the first Indian Women to be inducted into an International Referee panel.
Today, Biliquis has eleven years of experience as coach at both National and State level; she has been in-charge J&K State Sports Council (JKSSC) Water Sports Centre Nehru Park and Indian Kayaking and Canoeing team coach. She was National Coach for Senior National Indian Team Participating in the qualifying Olympic Round in JAPAN. Also worked with Foreign Coaches in India for preparation for Junior/Senior Indian Team at Bhopan S.A.I Centre.Furthermore, she has participated as Coach in the continental qualification for competition in Aisa held at Komatsu Japan 9-11 May 2008.To top it all she got selected as a National Coach in Asian Games 2010.Next milestone was being selected as National Coach (Chief) Women’s team in Kayaking and Canoeing upto 2012 Olympic London as well as National Coach for National Coaching Camp of CANOE SLALOM SENIOR, 2015.Last year she was selected as National Coach for 9th Asian Cano Slalom Championship 2016 to be held at TOYAMA Japan and lately, she was assigned to train Indian team for the Asian Canoe Slalom championship scheduled to be held at Thailand. Even as a coach she has a long list of achievements.
Bilquis dived into the water sports professionally in 1997 and until 2007 she was representing state in various water sports. The World cup at Hungary in 2009 became highlight of her career, when she represented India. "Waving our nations flag at international arena, after struggling for around two decades, has become the most cherished moment of my life” reminisces Bilquis.

Biliquis has Bachelor’s degree in Arts, from Kashmir University. She has in her kity, certificate of a six-week course in Kayaking and Canoeing from NIS with ‘Grade A which is believed to be the highest in the discipline. She has attended workshop on Therapy in Sports held at ICSE Institute of Coaching and Sports Education, Budapest, Hungary and this year she attended training programme, a conditional course for strength and endurance which held in University of Birmingham, United Kingdom.
But like always, such accomplishment does not fall into the lap themselves. Like any other women who aspired to be empowered, Biliquis too had to struggle for what she rightfully deserved.
Born to Hameeda Banu and Bashir Ahmed Mir, Biliquis is the second among the trio of sisters. Right from the early age, Biliquis was exposed to then scenario in which she learnt that it is not a matter of joy being born as a daughter. The fact that, not having a son would always pinch her parents, extended family and relatives- always hurt her innocent feeling, even at the age when she was too young to understand worldly complexities.
And the clicking tongues and sympathetic remarks of society for her parents, for the same, excruciated her further.
“My grandmother (maternal) used to tell my mother in good will, that she should treat and bring us up like sons, but I was of the opinion that it should not matter whether it is a boy or girl, parents should bring them up equally. I have always confronted the statement of being a son to my parents, I am a daughter and an advocate that daughters are equivalent to sons,” says Bilquis.
According to her, it is important to raise a girl without any difference, not only in behavior but by approach as well; there should not be any notion that if you are providing a daughter providing her with excellent facilities and opportunities, is a favour to her because you are treating her like son. Biliquis says that the belief that if she is treated the way a human being should be, she is being treated like a man, is the first assault on the dignity of a woman.
Anyhow, back to her journey, it was a friend that became the link between Bilquis and her journey.
“My friend Suraya Ameen used to take classes for Canoeing and one day she insisted me to join her after school. When I went there the instructor asked me to either sit on the other side of the park or hop on the boat. Fearing to be seen by someone in the park, I chose to get in the canoe, despite the fact that I didn’t know how to swim and ended up slipping into the water,” shares Biliquis.
Even, though she got scolded by her mother when Bilquis came back home, drenched but it could not extinguish the spark that had ignited in her mind. “That night I dreamt that I canoed whole of Dal and on waking up I dreamt the same with open eye,” shares Bilquis. Following that day Bilquis had a double-life; for a month Bilquis continued to bunk her tuitions after school and train. When her mother found that, not only was with she beaten, no surprise there, but also threatened to be withdrawn from school.
Hope sprouted again after a month when Bilquis won first prize in a water event organized by J&K Police in which she participated secretly and came back home with a cash prize. “Although, my mother was enthralled to see the trophy but did not believe that I could win cash, so she went to the spot of event and believed it only after enquiring and confirming from couple of people,” says Bilquis.
This event changed Hameeda’s perception towards her daughter and sports, so began the struggle of the duo. “Since people did not used to appreciate women being in sports, I used to wear tracks under ‘abaya’ when I used to leave my doorstep. Still, people would not hesitate to tell my parents that it is fool of them to let me pursue my passion in sports and that it would only bring shame to the family,” shares Bilquis.
Bilquis is known to be hard, sturdy and not over-sentimental as a person but even this girl has wet her pillows secretly because of the harshness of society she had to face being a girl.
“Even though it is still not up to mark, but scenario is much better today, than it was two decades ago. Sports were believed to be useless and anyone interested would be perceived as ambitionless,” elaborates Bilguis. She further points out that, “Approach of society towards sports, especially towards women in sports is discriminatory even as audience- they prefer and are more enthusiastic towards male sports.”
But throughout her journey, in all ups and downs ever since that first trophy Bilquis brought to her, she became her daughter’s biggest and- one can say-only support and source of strength.
“My mother took up a war for me; she not only had to fight the society but her near and dear ones as well. At times when even my determination deterred because of the negative remarks and suppressing environment, she told me if I would give up, it would be her failure. She even mortgaged and sold the limited jewellary she had to send me for training abroad. My mother invested and exhausted so much of her, for my passion that the fear of disappointing her became my biggest propellant,” says Bilquis.
Adding on about her father, Bilquis says, “He was furious at first, but then came at a point he would only express his distress. Eventually he understood and then came a point when he started appreciating me and my career choices. I believe that the misfortune of women in our society is that they have to prove themselves but it also pushes them to excel more.” She adds on, “In order to grow as nation, we need to treat women as women, with respect and compassion, ensuring their equality and dignity,”
Now, Bilquis aspires to come up with an Olympian in Water Sports, from the state, especially among girls. “I am training kids to mould them into excellent sportsperson. I do not hesitate to visit around and go to each house to convince people to allow their kids, especially girls to train and participate,” shares Bilquis.
Bilquis’ dream is to make J&K be known for its Water Sports because we have natural water- fitting for sports, both flat and wild. “In much country, athletics are compulsory part of academic curriculums; this not only ensures fitness and overall development of the youngsters but also more sportspersons to represent the nation at international level. Sports policies are framed in such way that it ensures and encourages participation of women as well,” explains Bliquis.
Whenever, life becomes hectic and Bilquis needs a break, company of her mom, some cooking, good music and humming are what relaxes her. According to her when you work hard, relaxation and entertainment becomes more important to prevent crashing on your way towards your goal and grow further.
To women out there, words of Bilquis are, “Target, focus and will-power are must in everyone’s life; being a woman you need to have faith in yourself and your capabilities. Marriage is everything, strive to be self-reliant.” She further adds, “You cannot take up challenges of life if you aren’t fit. One must train, exercise and intake proper meal; also take care of your mental health as well. In short, prepare yourself to take on this world,”