IN HER DEBUT BOOK, THIS AUTHOR WRITES ABOUT THE DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVES OF LOVE

Author Interview: Sunayana Khandelwal

Sunayana Khandelwal was born and brought up in Delhi. She is a corporate professional, and works as a Director Development and Programs with Hotel Solutions India. She is also a certified Neuro Linguistic Programming Practitioner and Coach. She has recently come out with the book “Can You Love This Way?”, which shares the extraordinary true love stories of 3 ordinary women. In a candid chat with Chirdeep Malhotra, she talks about her debut book, her writing journey, her favourite books and authors, and much more. Read on!



Please tell us more about Sunayana Khandelwal as a person.

I am a jovial person. I focus on mastering the essential 12 categories of life. I strongly believe that we can balance our life well if we master the 12 categories. Like for many, life has not been easy for me as well. But I have learnt an important lesson of life from my father and that is ‘to never give up’. And the icing on the cake are the few friends, colleagues and relatives who have always encouraged me to chase my dreams and in all my decisions.
I like exploring and learning new things, my parents often complain that I am always engaged in some or the other things. So, this year the list included plan to visit Norway that failed miserably due to COVID-19, my studies, learning belly dance, finishing my book, research work, and what not.
I meditate for spiritual healing and mindfulness. I follow Ajapa Yog, this practice has helped me to learn to be patient and remain calm in tough times. I am a life enthusiast, a speaker and a strong believer of ‘Life is Beautiful’.



Has writing always been a part of your life? Or did you chance upon it later on and then instantly fell in love with it?

Writing has always been there in me. You will be surprised to know that while I was in grade 8 or 9, I used to write poetry but had no courage to share at my home as I had feared that my parents would scold me saying that I was writing poems and not paying attention towards studies. So, I had never documented any of my poems in a diary or journal. I used to write on small pieces of paper and share it with best my friends, Ritu and Neeharika, they were the only two admirers of my poetry. But then I wrote a few and some of my poems and expressions are available on my Facebook Page - Expressions by SNYN.



If you had to describe your book “Can You Love This Way?” in one sentence, what would it be?

“Love is not always ‘to vanquish,’ it is sometimes ‘to lose’ as well.”



Now tell us a little bit more about the book!

The book, “Can You Love This Way?” is a narrative of three women, Kaashi, Hunar and Suhanaa and their perspective towards love and their beloved. It is inspired by true stories. The book shares ‘One Sided Story’ of these three lead characters, and how they feel while experiencing the toughest situations that destiny has thrown on them and what made them feel that way. In all the three stories, alternatives have been suggested by some or the other character in the book and by the author herself that could have made them lead a more comfort giving life but they chose devotion over possession. The book shares the idea of learning the art of unconditional love.



Why the title “Can You Love This Way?”? What does it convey to the readers?

“Can You Love This Way?” is a collection of three love stories. As a person, I was very inspired by all the three characters and their decisions pertaining to their love life. Not many people are as strong as Kaashi, Hunar and Suhanaa who had the courage to go against the so called ‘normal’ life situations. There is an old saying, “Love expects no reward. Love knows no fear. Love Divine gives - does not demand. Love thinks no evil; imputes no motive. To Love is to share and serve.” So, with the title I wanted to pose a question to the reader if they can love the way Kaashi, Hunar and Suhanaa loved.
The book “Can You Love This Way?” conveys a simple message to the readers which is - “Learn the true meaning of being in Love. You are in love when all you want is, the person you love, to be happy, even if you are not the part of their happiness.”



How did the idea of writing this book originate? When did you start writing this book and how long did it take you to finish it?

I want to share that I am a Neuro Linguistic Programming Practitioner and as a result I happen to meet with people from diversified backgrounds. Their beliefs, cultures, understanding, perspectives are sometimes extremely different. But as an NLP Coach, I am mostly a patient listener and receptive towards their thoughts without being judgemental about them. Often, I noticed people are unhappy, unsatisfied with their circumstances. On the contrary for some I was unhappy and unsatisfied as I felt they could have chosen an easy way towards life, but they had no regrets, no complaints at all. I was so inspired by them that I wanted to share their lives with people. That’s how the idea of writing a book germinated in my mind.
I stared writing this book somewhere in the mid of last year and finished almost in a year.



Tell us more about the protagonists Kaashi, Hunar and Suhanaa. How did the characters come to you and how much did they change in the process of writing the novel?

Kaashi is simple and beautiful and in her 40s, Hunar is in her 30s. She is hardworking, independent, gorgeous, and divorced. Suhanaa is way too stylish. They all have a common element which I admired and that was their attitude towards life. None of them cribs despite whatever situations they were in. Kaashi, Hunar and Suhanaa are real people, whom I met at some point in time of my life. It is natural for a person to grow, change and transform during every small or long journey, so did they.



What themes have you delved into in this book’s narrative?

The writing style of the book is narrative; I focussed on words that create imageries and visuals of the surroundings, sentiments, and emotions. Deep emphasis has been given on vocabulary while expressing the mental arguments and emotional roller coaster that a person goes through during dilemma or in bliss.



What type of research went into writing this book?

The book is inspired by the three women I met, my research involved meeting with them often, visiting the places that were special and memorable for them, so that I can match up my words with the feeling and sentiments they developed with that place. I also met a few people from the stories to understand their role in the lives of Kaashi, Hunar and Suhanaa in a better way. At some instances I even tried capturing videos while the characters were speaking, especially where the scenes were intense, to record their expressions. Needless to say, my knowledge as an NLP Practitioner has added immense benefit to it.



Can you recommend five books from any genre, for our readers to add to their reading lists, that you particularly cherish?

Well! I am a great fan of Mitch Albom, Robin Sharma, Louise Hay, John Gray, Tal Ben-Shahar. My recommendation list is very long but the best five will be- “Tuesdays with Morrie” by American author Mitch Albom, “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus” written by American author and relationship counsellor John Gray, “Choose the Life You Want: The Mindful Way to Happiness” by American author Tal Ben-Shahar, “Who Will Cry When You Die?” written by Indian born writer Robin Sharma, and last but not the least “Sapiens: A Brief History Of Humankind” by Yuval Noah Harari.



What are your other interests apart from writing?

I love travelling, reading, singing, and I have interest in graphology.



What are you working on next?

Specifically, in writing, my next project is on the changing era of prostitution in our country. The research is at a very nascent stage now since travelling is restricted these days. Apart from writing, I am researching on a topic i.e. ‘role of prayers’. It is a study of deep understanding of what part do prayers perform in our life.



There are many new writers and poets who are aspiring to get their work published. What would you say to them?

I recommend all to please research a bit. You have invested your time and emotions in bringing your manuscript in the form of a book. There are both traditional and self-publish platforms available. See what suits you. Writing a book is one aspect, however selling the book is altogether different.



Can you share with our readers a motivational quote that keeps you going?

Life is beautiful but temporary, don’t desire for things to be permanent.