Who is the Maa?

AKRITI JAMWAL

Today is Mother’s day celebrated across the world on second Sunday of May, every year. Though one day cannot contain the appreciation one must have towards his/her mother for all her love and sacrifices, yet we are glad that there is a day reserved as a reminder and that it gives us an opportunity to make our mom’s feel special.
Yet, one wonders if the way it has been projected, it has prevailed and the way it has been progressing is the right way. Out of all other days when we expect our mere mortal human moms to manage everything in Godly fashion, this is the one day we kind-of give her that truly deserved ‘God-like’ status. Today we will put up posts and even show our gratitude with gentle words and gifts; say how grateful we are for her love and sacrifice. Bottom line, today we will make a human seem like a God and standardize being mom.

Is it what it was meant for?

Though the part where we all are being grateful, appreciating and venerating our mothers is needed, the part where we tend to manifest for doing so, is not. Why? Because doing so encourages one to do the opposite if the mom does not fit into the standard mould; giving excuses to the ungrateful to justify their treachery towards her unconditional love.
Thanks to the Television and now internet, I have called my mother with every synonym I ever learn. It is something I developed as I grew up and each describes a different state of mind and different status; you can say, some times she is my ‘maa’; at others, I am hers. Learning from the experiences, not only with my mother but others as well, especially new moms, you realize the way one look up to his/her mother and expects her to be perfect is almost unfair. I have witnessed mine growing with me and I have even dealt with the child in her, so much that she would call me her mother among my friends.
It brings me to the point that though a woman is known for her shifting chrysalis from a daughter to wife to mother and so on and out of all these being a mother is believed to be like born again, we need not forget that we all are flawed in our own ways. Still, a mother is expected; rather she strives to be flawless especially when it comes to playing her role as a mother.
And from there starts an endless quest of bringing up a child, managing the family and dealing with every shenanigan that comes with it, all while keeping it together and not complain about it because you are supposed to have an ‘instinct’ to do all of that.
The point is this mother’s day, one must imbibe the persona of the person who either gave birth to us or brought us up or did both, basically our mother- biological or not, and not expect her to be more than a human and be grateful for who she is and not complain about her not being how she is ‘ought’ to be.

A mother need not be perfect. Period.

It isn’t her responsibility, it is her unconditional love that she is doing whatever she does for you. So, just because you grew up, attained worldly senses and became self-reliant does not give anyone to point out that she has not been a perfect or good mother.
There’s no excuse to make a mother become self-critical, avoid her to prioritize herself, give up on her passion or job--make her feel guilty if she does not, to make an old mother, for that matter any parent to be looted of their savings or pension, be abused in any way or end up in an old age home, alienated, lonely and deprived of love.
Don’t tell a ‘maa’ how to be a ‘maa’, she is your ‘maa’ after all, and if she isn’t it is not your place to do so in first place.
Anyhow, since it is a day to celebrate your mothers and it is at this point we come across the trend of “n number of gifting ideas for your mother this mother’s day” we have a list too. Hope both you and your mother will like it. They are not as simple as they seem.
• Look at her, notice her and behold the sight, here’s a person who has indebted you with her unconditional love.
• Take a note of what she is seeking; know her needs like she knows yours.
• Take out quality time for her even if it is few minutes or a phone call if you are away. Tell her about your day and ask about hers.
• Give her a life, since she probably gave up on one thing or another, arrange for her to get back to her passions. Indulge, inculcate and encourage her interests.
• Assess her life, learn her and know her problems. Go miles further to understand her perspective.
• Ensure her comfort and protect her dignity. Never be embarrassed of her.
• Do not forget to make her feel special other 364 days.