TRYING TO BRING UP THE GIRLS RIGHT
In child sex ratio, J&K was better off with 963 females in 1981. It gradually dropped to 941 females in 2001, dipping further to 862 females in 2011 and raising questions with regard to the official claims about crackdown on prenatal sex determination tests and female feticide. Primary abstract of 2011 census, indicates an alarming level of female feticide in Jammu and Kashmir as a drastic decrease of 79 females per thousands of children has been noticed in child sex ratio, i.e. age group of 0 to 6 years. So, while in 2001, among 2,000 children, there were 941 females and 1059 males, the ratio has fallen to 862 females and 1138 males in 2011.This radical decline has brought J&K down to the bottom of the list among all Indian States with just Haryana and Punjab behind it. This reveals our loathing mentality towards female child. But the question as always is, "WHY?" Why we dread having a girl child? Why it is okay to have more than one son, but having more than one daughter is disastrous? And even when the parents are okay with it, why do we, as the society, pity such parents who have more than one daughter or no son? Sana Khan and Huma Khan are daughters, who hopefully would open your eyes and show you why it is privilege to bring up a girls and how you can do your best at it.
Sana and Huma are twins. They are not only twins by birth; if seen from the surface, their lives seem the same too. On top of that they are pursuing same careers. They both are KAS (Kashmir Administrative Services) officers. But still they are two different individuals, with two completely different personalities. Yet what they share is, the level of confidence they exhibit, their passion for their work and the fact that they are 'Self-Aware'. On being asked about their success, they shared about the contribution of their parents, besides everything else. Anyone would, give credits to parents whether they mean it or do it just for the sake of doing it. But in case of Sana and Huma, their persona speaks for themselves about the contribution of their parents in their success.
Sana and Huma, both were born as twins to a police officer father and an Urdu lecturer mother. The irony is that even educated part of our society doesn't treat a boy and a girl equally. However, that was not the case with this sister duo. Not only were they raised and treated on par with their brother, but their parents always supported them in their decisions as they grew up as young women. "It is a very sad reality of our society that even in this age, people are still stuck in gender partiality. During our school time, it surprised us whenever we learnt about a female friend not allowed to do something which her brother could do, as our parents never treated us with any bias regarding our gender," shares Sana.
Huma adds, "I am glad that their (parents') attitude has remained the same all this time. Not only they supported us and our decisions but also cleared the sky for us whenever there casted a shadow of doubt in our hearts. Our father and mother has been very vocal against disparity based on gender and have taught us the same, to fight and aware people against this evil. This has gone miles in us reaching where we stand today."
No doubt, their parents being educated helped a lot in this but what is really commendable is the fact that they refuse to bow down to the 'pressure' this society exerts on a family with 2 daughters. There are people who do not let girl child to take birth and come into this world, and then there are those who does, but loath them (Girls) for their entire life, and then come those who give them love but the love remains conditional, they are treated as daughters before being treated as a child or like a son would have been and finally, there are those rare parents to whom it does not matter if the child is a boy or a girl, they love him/her unconditionally. Although we, the educated class, have come a long way, but when it comes to our attitude towards girls, we still have not reached the point where this debate could come to rest.
Stigma attached to 'having daughters' can be washed away if we change our attitude. Sana and Huma are perfect examples that daughters can make parents proud as much as a son can. They are proofs that gender difference is a hypothetical concept, when it comes to making legacy. And if we want our daughters to do well in life, we need to make them confident. And that is possible, only if we bring them up right. Refrain passing sexist remarks and stop clipping their wings just because they are "daughters" and not "sons". Be at their back so they can face the world with their heads held high. Every child deserves unconditional love and support.
Updated On 9/23/2016 7:24:10 PM
Updated On 9/24/2016 1:29:02 PM